Monday, August 31, 2015

Weekend Update

Items of note from our weekend:

trail head- first hike

unidentified fungus
lens flare
poison ivy

A Photo journal entry on what we did this weekend. 

Sometimes we forget to find {JOY} in the mundane events of our lives. 

When you have suffered devastating loss- of any type- you appreciate small moments with a new perspective.

I would love to see things from your perspective today- 

What did you do this weekend? 

Please share any photos of you and yours enjoying the weekend on our Facebook page.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Show Some Love Saturday-He Knows Your Name

This Saturday's share is a little different than my normal shares. It's a child-loss organization, but this organization focused on a different type of bereavement.

I am at a loss for words when trying to describe the beautiful work done by those at He Knows Your Name

(And if I forget to say this explicitly, make sure you go visit their site when you are finished reading this. You will be learning about one of the most beautiful love stories ever told. No one else does anything like this and I am so grateful I found them.)
Going forward, please forgive me for any choppy language. This one is a hard one -- my tender heart has a difficult time with such a heavy subject, especially after the emotional upheaval of the last few weeks.... I've had a difficult time writing about anything lately.


Sometimes we can pull something exquisite out of the heavy stuff, and this is what He Knows Your Name does.

This next paragraph will be a difficult read for loss moms. Just a warning to guard your heart. 

Occasionally the story of a dead child who has been abandoned will make the evening news. We read of an innocent child who was dumped in the garbage, like so much trash. I know my own heart breaks every time I hear one of these stories. It seems so unfair that what I would give anything to hold, someone tosses away so lightly.

For example, this earlier this summer, a toddler girl was found abandoned on a beach in Boston... She looked so much like my own M. I looked at the "alive" image which was being circulated, and felt my entire body ache for this lost girl. She is so beautiful. So much promise in such a tiny being. Gone. 

He Knows Your Name works to give dignity to these children who are anonymously abandoned. After learning of an abandoned baby they will posthumously, legally adopt them if necessary, or will petition for the right to claim their bodies. They provide a name and burial place for them. They give them beautiful memorial services. 

They affirm the dignity of each individual, no matter how "unwanted" they are.

In the big {worldly} scheme of things it may not seem as if what they do makes much difference, but what they caring for the least of these is never a futile endeavor. 

No one can change the circumstances of the lives and deaths of these children, but no one deserves as their epitaph “found abandoned". Names are so powerful, so important. Every child deserves a name.

He Knows Your Name recognizes this and honors children with an identity beyond that of "found abandoned". They honor them with names which imply:




"hoped for"


They give these babies the names which they deserve.

He Knows Your Name is a promise which speaks to all of us. That in our most desolate moments He will remember us. 

I cannot think of a more beautiful expression of God's love towards the "least of these", than this claiming and re-naming.

"…to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off.”
Isaiah 56:5

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Katie Lyon and Time Magazine Were Wrong In Their Defense Of Fetal Tissue Donation

Two weeks ago, Time magazine featured a commentary by Katie Lyon, a mother who terminated her pregnancy due to a poor pregnancy diagnosis. She chose to terminate her pregnancy in the second trimester due to her unborn daughter's diagnosis of Spina bifida and other issues which she does not expand upon. The goal of Ms. Lyon's commentary was to explain how fetal tissue donation works as a way of showing her support for Planned Parenthood. However, her characterization is an inappropriate defense of Planned Parenthood's tissue procurement and "donation" process.

I am going to begin this by stating clearly -- this is a response to Ms. Lyon's support of fetal tissue donation through Planned Parenthood, not her decision to terminate her pregnancy. I am 100% pro-life with no exceptions, and I do not support fetal tissue donation at any gestation. I do understand what it is like to be given a poor pregnancy diagnosis for your unborn child, and I myself am regrettably post-abortive. This confluence of life experience makes my writing this extremely touchy. My empathy towards a grieving mother is too great to create a dynamic where her decision is something to cheaply debate about on social media. My own culpability in ending the life of my unborn child leaves me very little latitude to pass personal judgment against the mother. However, in the interest of being true to my own ethical and moral beliefs I need to clarify that no matter what the gestation of the baby involved, I believe donating "fetal tissue" is terribly wrong.

As the mother of a child who was diagnosed in the womb with a lethal birth defect and who runs a website for families whose children are diagnosed with my daughter's disorder, I do have a unique insight into the donation of fetal tissue for research purpose. I myself have created agreements with researchers to accept donations from our babies, and many of our families have chosen to make both tissue and whole body donations for science.

The first item I would like to address is the most obvious:  it is not necessary to end the life of your child in order to donate tissue for medical research-- and if you continue your pregnancy, in some cases, your baby may be able to donate tissue to other babies who are on recipient waiting lists. Heart valves, corneas and cartilage can all be used to enhance or save the life of a baby waiting for transplant. There are even organizations which help families investigate the complexities of neonatal tissue donation. Purposeful Gift is one of the most prominent organizations helping parents navigate this territory.

Secondly, the type of tissue donation of which she is speaking is nothing like what we have seen from the Planned Parenthood videos. As she herself clearly states, she donated to a specific organization specializing in Spina bifida research. The donation was handled by a genetic counselor in her physician’s office. Chances are (and I could be wrong about this because I'm not certain how she specifically handled her "termination,") she had her procedure in an outpatient setting, most likely in a hospital or surgical center -- not an abortion clinic. I also highly doubt Ms. Lyon's physician haggled with the researchers over storage and transport costs, and most likely did not "part out" her unborn baby. Ms. Lyon's donation was similar to the type of {whole body} donation to science which many people choose during their end-of-life planning. Ms. Lyon's contribution was no doubt appreciated by those who received her daughter's remains. I imagine they were treated with dignity and respect, and even reverence, recognized for what they were -- the remains of a human being with a serious congenital birth defect; though the whole body donation of a precious baby carried to term and delivered to {a short} life would be most appreciated, both by scientist researching specific disorders, and families whose children are waiting for life altering and life saving transplants.

This is very different than the "tissue donation" for stem cell research we see in the Planned Parenthood videos. The callousness with which the workers treat the remains of beings even they identify as humans is appalling. There is no appreciation, no understanding, and definitely no reverence. These babies are parted out for indifferent researchers. There is no correlation between the two circumstances.

Third, and finally -- in the past few weeks many still images have come out along with the Planned Parenthood videos. Two of them which have made their way into my timeline are these: {1} and {2} . Note that they are marked very clearly with the notation "no abnormalities". I do acknowledge these to be older examples of procurement requests, however, it would still be accurate to claim that due to the nature of research done with stem cells, unless someone is actually studying a congenital anomaly they aren't going to accept tissue donations from babies like Ms. Lyon's. Tissue with abnormalities simply isn't usable for general research or curative medicinal purposes.

{Image: Priests for Life}

I end this repeating my statement above -- at this time, I am not intending to open a debate on whether Ms. Lyon's choice to terminate her pregnancy was the correct one or not. This is not because I have no opinion on terminations done for medical reasons -- I have quite strong opinions on this subject. It's because it would cheapen the life of her precious baby to turn her into nothing more than an internet debate.  My own commentary was only necessary because her justification of Planned Parenthood's practices was inappropriate, and could be used to further an agenda which purports to be compassionate, but is instead avaricious.

Two additional notes:

{For clarification purposes -- when most people think "stem cells" they are thinking of pluripotent embryonic stem cells, which come from discarded IVF blastocysts, and are not the same as the fetal stem cells which are being harvested by Planned Parenthood. Fetal stem cells are used in a similar fashion to adult stem cells, and the utilization of them is both unnecessary and -- some believe -- scientifically inappropriate.}

{All terms used to identify developmental stages of an unborn child's life in the womb are the common scientific terms, and in no way used to imply that an unborn child is anything less than human at any stage of gestation.}

This post has been published with minor edits at .
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