Hi Mom!Friday, August 05, 2011
I have always had a kind of fanciful nature. I believed in fairies much longer than any of my childhood friends did, and hung onto Santa Claus almost until I hit puberty. I see signs and find images all around me- faces in trees, symbolism in the way that a rain puddle forms, and complex pictures in the clouds.
I don’t believe that any of these signs are really meaningful, just my active imagination.
One thing I’ve always liked is finding hearts in natural objects. Rocks shaped like hearts are high on the list. I have three sitting on my dresser.
Since Bea passed away, I have taken to actively searching for hearts. Every day I seem to see at least one. Sometimes they are very clear….
Sometimes they are sweet ….
Most of the time, you need to use your imagination a little more to actually see the heart.
Or (stretching it a little bit)….
I’ve come to think of these hearts in nature as little “hi Mom!”, messages to me, from my Bea. I know logically, that they are just random patterns in everyday life. I am a Christian woman, and I do not believe that the dead talk to us through manipulating nature.
But I like to think about it…. It reminds me that she is still somewhere, still alive-and living in health and perfection. I like to think that she sees me, and wishes she could say hello.
Today, I found a heart that isn’t really in nature, but seemed to be a “hi mom!” message. It is just a cheap, little key chain I saw in the impulse fixture at the gas station.
I bought it. It was just too perfect. All the elements are there- it’s a pink, heart shaped rock. It says “joy”.
I took the liberty of using one of my angel wing pillows as a background for it. Again, too perfect.
Sometimes I guess that I can believe in the magic of a dream. Sometimes I can shake away the logic and set in stone thinking, and wonder at the marvel of a message from her. Often a small part of me believes in the beauty of a love note sent directly from heaven.