Rambling, sleep deprived postFriday, March 15, 2013
So, here's the thing.....
The joy can be overwhelming, but the grief is still crushing.
This is going to be a little rambling, because I am trying to fit a lot into a little space of time.
About Rainbow babies:
Obviously, one baby could never replace another- but.... my mind is more restful. I don't have that inner shudder, when I see a sweet girl in front of me. That shudder that says, "I will never experience that." I can look at babies and not feel the weight of loss deep on me. Maybe one day, I will be able to hold someone else's without feeling that wrenching sadness.
This new Matilda girl is not anything like her sister. It's funny, how well aware I am of that- even though I only held my Beatrix for two short hours, here on earth. This younger girl is quiet and sweet. She is the most docile baby I have ever had the experience of caring for. She smiles and babbles and is a joy for everyone who looks at her.
Rainbow babies have such a weight about them- so heavy with expectations. And anyone who says differently is being foolish I think.
This girl, though. This girl is much more than a Rainbow baby. I am utterly smitten.
I do have a lot more to share, but that will have to wait for another time. Little people need love right now, and I have it to give- in abundance.
I am so grateful for my life.
Even the hard parts.