Oprah, Abortion and the Child She Was Relieved to Lose

Saturday, September 08, 2018

Last week Oprah Winfrey fed into leftist rage by promoting the Shout Your Abortion movement in the "Inspiration" section of her magazine. For a few days all of Pro-lifedom was atwitter with moral outrage.... but the outrage fizzled out and was gone shortly after the story broke. 

I’d planned on adding my frustration to the noise, due to my knowledge of Oprah’s child loss experience, but hesitated and missed the groundswell.

Does it really matter, in the end? 

People like Oprah just don't want to hear my shout.

It doesn't really fit into their driven life dynamic. 


In addition to Oprah's periodical, the hashtag movement has made it into a number of other magazines, the biggest being Time Magazine (this is no surprise -- Time also published this gem, which I roundly refuted here.) 

Like many other liberal publications both Oprah's and Time's pro-choice stake in this discussion has already been established.

This is enormously frustrating. The lack of representation women who regret their abortions receive outside of religious and politically conservative avenues is appalling. My own story will stay safely within pro-life boundaries, never to be shared by a magazine like Oprah's, even though I am just as much of a post-abortive woman as those who feel their abortion was a success. There are thousands of others out here who are just as aggrieved as I am, and whose stories remain confined to conservative pro-life publications.

But I digress. 

This post is supposed to be about Oprah and her support of a wildly murderous "women's" movement masquerading as empowerment.

The fact SYA has made it into a magazine generally devoted to women's self-help and shoe shopping is problematic but not unexpected. By supporting the one-sided "Shout Your Abortion" movement, Oprah has only reinforced the foundation of her own misguided beliefs regarding childbirth, childbearing, and women's power. 

In all the outrage displayed by pro-life groups last week, not one pro-life publication shared Oprah's infamous statement that when her own son, Canaan, died, many years ago, she was relieved and felt she had been given a second chance, not because the child was the result of abuse or a violent act** as has been presumed in some articles, but because the success trajectory of her life would have been different. 

Let that sink in for a moment. 

She was relieved a human being was dead because it meant she could go on to build a life of wealth and privilege. 

She built her success on the foundation of child loss; not based on her grief, but out of a sense of gratitude over the end of her son's life. 

I generally don't judge anyone's grief process. Losing a child is a singular experience which we all suffer differently. 

But to be relieved at your own child's death because you wouldn't have been as successful had that child lived, is vile. 

It is vile for anyone to face the death of an innocent, fragile child, with anything but profound sorrow, especially when the emotion felt is relief due to opportunities for success now that their child is gone. 

In addition it is disgraceful to broadcast a message of such weakness to young women today: Seeing the abilities of Oprah Winfrey, does anyone doubt she would have lived a life of success had her child lived? I believe she was/is stronger than that. I believe most women are.

As we move forward into a new year, for those who are on the fence regarding the abortion/success dynamic, Oprah's mothering experience serves as a reminder of exactly what it is organizations such as "Shout Your Abortion" are selling when they attempt to normalize abortion.

They are not selling relief from holding a clump of cells, but relief over the death of a real child who is (supposedly) a hindrance to success. 

They are selling the idea of an inherent female weakness, when it comes to mothers. 

This has nothing to do with empowerment and everything to do with fostering a sense of impotence within the ranks of women. 

This should be called out for what it is. 

By you and me who are working to better a society where all people are empowered to love loudly.

We need to begin shouting our own reality, loud enough to drown out the shouting of abortion -- for girls like me and for the future Oprahs who are currently out there being told their dreams will turn to dust unless they destroy the child they're carrying. 

More importantly, we need to shout out love for baby Canaan and all of the other infants who are given no consideration when it comes to their mother's deathly intentions.

We need to shout, because "Shout Your Abortion" is different than other pro-abortion movements. For all the defiance implied in the word "Shout", this is a normalization movement attempting to present abortion as an average thing which average women do. It's about making abortion bland. 

There's a reason pro-choice groups and advocates don't recognize even a scintilla of doubt regarding the possibility of post-abortion regret -- it's because they recognize the power behind a large mass of damaged women. This is really what #ShoutYourAbortion is all about. The aggregation of enough stories to outnumber ours- and only those stories normalizing abortion and making it look like nothing more than a wart removal.

The problem is when reading through the stories on shoutyourabortion.com/ I read mostly words of women's heartbreak. Stories of men who left them and parents who pressured them to abort. Stories of abortions which were needed rather than wantedThis video shared last month was incredibly telling -- the obvious grief in her demeanor, including an ode to her "Spark" at the end, is tragic. Note her repeated affirmations of why she was aborting -- not because she dislikes children or even that she doesn't want one: all of her reasoning revolves around her potential ability to parent at this stage in her life. Her words tell me she believes, at root, she's just not good enough to be this baby's mom.

No matter how flippantly celebrities and the press treat abortion, the average woman seems to struggle greatly with the decision to have one, even if she is pro-choice. 

They need to present un-damaged women in order to affirm their narrative. 

The problem is that abortion cannot possibly leave a woman undamaged. 

Oprah's sharing of this site as "inspirational", given her own complicated story of child loss and inhumane lack of emotion is an exemplary illustration of the pro-choice movement, where children are solely lifestyle accoutrements or inhibitions to success. 

What a depressing community to be a part of.


As a sort of post script, I do want to end this with a Shout of my own, to the women posting on the "Shout Your Abortion" website:

There are many post-abortive pro-lifers out here.

We can help you choose to be empowered and to find your own voice, and not the voice which you are shamed into using because someone convinced you that you were not capable of caring for your unborn child, and you feel complicit in their destruction. 

Long after Shout Your Abortion loses its luster, and other women have abandoned this effort, when they've run into the next social justice deficit which they believe needs their immediate attention, we will still be quietly delivering our testimonies in post-abortion healing groups. Some of us may take our stories to a microphone to encourage others to break their silence in a constructive way. Many of us will write about our experiences. Each of these manifestations of sharing will serve one purpose: to open the door of healing, through acknowledging the gravity of our choices. When we share our stories, they create a safe place for other women to enter and share their stories -- and unlike pro-choice partisans, we will welcome them in peace and comfort, with gentle spirits and hope of healing.

We will be waiting here for you whether you shouted, whispered, or never spoke at all.... because our work is based in redemption, and not condemnation. 

We choose to share our stories with grace and dignity, in order to lift other women up, and not kick them when they are down.  

We do not choose shouts and violence, but love and compassion in the face of great travails. In the end all we will have to show for ourselves is the charity we freely give to one another. You can choose to join us whenever you'd like. We can't wait to meet you.


** This comment was solely made to clarify that many imply the child in question was conceived during a violent act and impute less worth for him, due to this condition. I do not- as a consistent pro-life person, I believe all babies deserve the chance to live their lives, no matter what their conditions or circumstances of conception.

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