Child Loss: Why We Can't Speak About AbortionThursday, November 03, 2016
In other words, the carry to term experience is often negatively affected by those who choose to terminate. But we can't speak about that.
And now, for the grieving mom who has terminated her pregnancy:
And I'm sorry, but for some of you, I think it's about understanding that suffering is treatable, and abortion is brutal, and maybe the choice you made wasn't the best option.
This is honesty.
It's the facts as they stand.
We aren't going after you. We don't leave comments on your blogs, and we don't hurl insults at you when you post in loss groups. We usually stay silent until someone brings up suffering... and our answer to that is a response to the question of suffering, not a judgement on the mom who chose to end her child's life. I know this is an unpopular opinion. I know it doesn't belong in the realm of "baby loss", where we're all just supposed to hold hands and close our eyes to the differences between us. Unfortunately, some of us have never been comfortable closing our eyes, and at this point we'd like to claim our stake in this baby-loss community.
Because in the current political climate, our voices are being drowned out.
As I said before, it's not about shaming anyone. It's about letting everyone express their grief in equal measure, and being hindered from certain subjects to be brought up (particularly in pro-life, carry to term groups).
It's about saying that our position in this debate is just as worth speaking about, and is a valid one. There is nothing shameful about carrying to term. There is nothing shameful about disagreeing with the choice to end a pregnancy. There is nothing shameful about being open about your feelings.
To end this: would I bring this up in a post-loss, mixed experience grief group? Of course not. Grief groups are for mourning our children, however they have died.
I wanted to at least address this here, because it's been laying on my heart for a long time now. I understand abortion is an unsavory subject to some, and too political or religious for others. I'm sorry to see you go, if that's what you choose..... But I will continue to write about both loss and pro-life issues pertaining to carrying to term. There are too many moms out there who feel shut out. Who have been (essentially) accused of being monsters who allowed their child to suffer. This is just my explanation of why you may see more moms choosing to be vocal about their pro-life leanings.