She Brings Joy : Hope

Where is God When It Hurts?

Where is God When it hurts?

I came across this quote, by Philip Yancey, the other day:

"The point of the Book of Job is not suffering: where is God when it hurts? The prologue (Chapters 1-2) deal with that issue. The point of the book of Job is faith: where is Job when it hurts?"

I don't know much about Mr. Yancey and I don't know the context of this quote, but it clarifies a concept I have been mulling over lately: perspective.

I know my writing has been a bit sanctimonious lately, but it's only because I'm working to be more intentional in my own faith practices. I'm also trying to offer an alternative to the "new-age", "mystical" baby-loss offerings available.

In my own exploration, perspective has required me to acknowledge that God is constant, and it's me who's changing.

This is exemplified in the above quote regarding Job. Job recognized that God was still the same God, regardless of how many tragedies fell at his doorstep.

It wasn't about him.

It was about a God who promises great things will come, even from the grime and decay of this world. It was about "lifting your eyes up to the hills" and understanding where your help comes from.

My story with God isn't about where God was when I was suffering, because God was in the same place He always was.... My story with God is about whether I turn away from the path.

Do I turn away to the path of perpetual grief? Do I mourn forever?

I once believed this was the future. I was told that you never get over child loss. And you don't. But getting over it and finding joy again are two different things, and those who promote this idea of the forever griever seem to expect perpetual mourning, and I think they are doing just as much damage as those who expect you to finish the process after a month. If we believe the promise of the resurrection, our grief and mourning can not last forever. (Note: I'm not in any way suggesting that you rush your process, or invalidating your grief. I'm merely suggesting that instead of being a cruel master, God can bring you to a place of peace.)

Do I take the path of incomplete resolution, in a mysticism which says the Bible lies when it says there is one death?

{Hebrews 9:27 "Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment...} I wrote about that HERE, and I've found a great article about this HERE.

If I want to stay the path -- win the race -- I must accept there may be uncomfortable parts of the journey. It's all about where I am, not where God is, in my suffering. Because, again, He doesn't move. We choose to stay the path or turn away.

The example of Job is the example of a man who stayed the course, even when his heart was probably breaking. Even when hope was a distant memory. Even when joy probably seemed like a foreign concept. When he did finally cry out to heaven -- he swiftly repented, appalled at his own mistrust.

Why was he so steadfast? Because God hadn't changed position in his life.

Where will we be when it hurts? Well, this is all up to us. I choose to use Job as my example: trusting God for the good He promises, and faithful in all things -- even the hard parts we don't understand.

Friday, September 02, 2016
0 Thank You For Visiting

Angel Baby: Does My Angel Baby Watch Over Me?

Brutal Honesty

Tuesday, March 15, 2016
0 Thank You For Visiting

This Is The Day

Beatrix Elizabeth

I recently began working in a grief workshop. Not so much because I am in the depths of grief, but because I thought I may learn a bit about myself.

Today we were asked to tell others what our "mantra" was, and I shared mine:

"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24)

Every morning I say this to myself before I roll out of bed. When I have a disagreement with my children or my husband, I repeat it in my head. I say it to myself when the money is gone before the bills are, and I whisper it out as I lay down to sleep.

It was what I posted on my Facebook profile when my water broke, at 34 weeks, the night that my sweet Beatrix was born.

"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24)

One recurring theme throughout my post-loss life has been the concept that God always has a handle on things. I have a difficult time comprehending this, at times -- but I still have faith that it's true.

In Christian faith circles today we have a trend of calling people to "claim God's power" over their life, or to "believe in the power of prayer" to fix their problems.

The problem is that within this mind-set there is a tendency to begin believing that we have some sort of control over every situation we may face. We just need to claim God's blessings or pray harder. When faced with baby-loss this becomes a terrible weight -- is it my fault my baby died?

Didn't I pray hard enough?

I claimed that blessing over my life, why didn't I receive it?

Was my faith too weak?

Working in the context that we have some type of power through prayer isn't just defeating -- it's not Biblical. All power resides in God. As difficult as that is to swallow, it's the truth. We can't believe ourselves into controlling God's will. No matter how long our prayer chain is, it will never be capable of outpacing God and his plans.

When we say, "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Ps. 118:24), what we are stating is that we understand that while we have free-will, this doesn't give us control over the ultimate outcome of the story. We are saying that we comprehend that God has it all under control, and we trust that his outcomes are part of the work of salvation.

I would not claim to know what God was thinking, but I know that my daughter's death was not part of His plan. His plan did not include death and disease. His plan did not include sorrow.

Could He have changed things and given her life?

Yes.

But He didn't, and the declaration in Psalm 118:24, the declaration which I make daily, is that I have put my trust in Him as the creator of days. I have made the decision to trust His plan. It is not ever easy. I don't always choose trust joyfully, but I always choose to trust completely. My trust delivers a promise for me, as well:

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." (Ps. 4:8)

We search so diligently for peace, especially in this post-loss world. We all want to find some answer, some reasoning for such tragic circumstances. Really, this side of heaven, we will never be satisfied with the answers we are given.

But this trust, this rejoicing in each day with its triumphs and sorrows is a beginning. This accepting our powerlessness is the first step in healing.

This day is the day the Lord has made -- and thank goodness for that. Because of that promise, I know I will eventually see my daughter again, and I rejoice without ceasing at the thought of that reunion.

{For more information regarding Power of Prayer here's an excellent post about the subject.

For more information about the "name it, claim it" philosophy, here's an excellent article about the subject.}

****

This blog has been linked here.

Visit and add your blogging link every Thursday at the Looking Up link.