Capture Your Grief

Sunday, November 09, 2014

I stopped. This time not because of an event- but because it was not helpful. I think that for someone exploring their new grief feelings, these types of excersizes can be helpful- but the exploration became negative for me.

There comes a point when we have to walk around the grief that sits too heavily in our hearts. It's like a rabid dog- waiting to bite you. You tiptoe in it's presence, and you let it lie.

This was kicking it awake- and I am not interested in that- being present in my grief. I have been bereaved, but my life is peaceful now. And I have no desire to kick that particular dog. 

Some people may see this as burying my head in the sand, but it's not that- it's just reality, and health, and understanding that there is a season for everything under the sun. 

I will see her again- so this life shouldn't be filled with her death. That's so wrong- because she was so much more than her death.

She was alive, and that's what I want to capture and hold close. Close my hands around it, keep it sweetly clasped inside of the confines of my heart.

She was alive. 

I'm going to share another photo of her, from her life. It will be difficult to see what I want to celebrate, so I am including the original, unaltered photo, and then two more specifying what I am showing you. 

An ultrasound at 19 weeks:

Here are all of her sweet parts labeled:

And this? This is her smile:

My sweet girl was alive. That's what I want to capture.

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