That last post was written in January. I stopped writing, because I didn't know, any longer, what to write- I can't continue on in this morbid way, steeped in my grief. I'd like to be better. I want my daughter's death to matter. I'd like to have carried my second absent baby to term.


I want my experiences to make a difference.

I think that I will re-orient this writing. Because one year and two months and five days after my daughter died, and two months and thirteen days after losing my second child (and I will write more about that little one... just not yet.) I have to get on with it. I just don't want the grief any longer. I feel like it's a job- I have to work at it sometimes.

At least today I feel that way. I'm slowly shaking it off, and it feels ok.

I think she (they) would like that.