Shout Your Abortion
Wednesday, September 23, 2015So--- just a note. This is going to be angst ridden and angry. This summer has been particularly terrible for some of us, with the release of the Planned Parenthood videos, and last week was the tipping point. I've pretty much had enough of mentally "accommodating" those who decide to end their pregnancies. And I'll be clear- I'm not trying to claim they need my accommodations to go live their lives. My statement is in mind that I've tried to focus on my personal views, and not make any type of judgement on anyone else.... But this has gone beyond the point of ridiculousness now. The decision of women to end their pregnancies due to a poor prenatal diagnosis did affect my life. Doctors and other medical professionals were merciless when pressuring me to end my pregnancy with Beatrix. If we lived in a society where abortion wasn't expected in cases like ours, we would not have faced the same exertions.
I was a little disappointed that it fell so quickly. I would have enjoyed sharing my story while it was hot-- being part of the groundswell of women sharing what has seemingly become a right of passage in America. The truth is, however, it wouldn't have been a monumental event for me. I, like thousands of other women, have been shouting my abortion for over a decade.
Planned Parenthood, and other pro-choice group out there.
Character assassinations are much easier and more effective in this respect than admitting you may be wrong. This is especially true when you have an army of devotees who are willing to push the limits of civility in order to quiet your opponents.
When we rally and hold up our signs, they attack....again, and again, and yet again.... but it is always justified. Because we are always wrong and they are always correct regardless of the circumstances. They excoriate our experts, whose peer-reviewed research findings are dismissed due to their supposed "agenda". Every one of us is a tool of the patriarchy, a religious fanatic, anti-woman. We can't conceivably be genuine. We aren't real people to them, but caricatures to be dstroyed.
We were ignored.
Now this.
Shoved in our faces, "Shout Your Abortion", amplifies the underlying attitude of many pro-choice fanatics. The attitude which promotes the idea that we who feel pain regarding our decisions are somehow emotionally unstable. Supposedly we are keeping women down, setting back the clock-- which is an ironic accusation; let's face it, this protest isn't really about current events in legislation. While it is manifesting itself as a response to the recent de-funding votes, this specific type of activism has been happening since before Roe v. Wade. This is the social media equivalent of the old slogan "Abortion on demand and without apology".
This morning I ruminated on the obsessive need to validate their choices against the tide of common sense, which would seem to make evident that ending a pregnancy, whether you're pro-life or pro-choice, is a serious event in a woman's life. The only conclusion I can draw in this instance is that the louder they shout, the more it justifies their own decision to ignore our {or even their} pain. When they claim the need to shout, it explicitly implies that someone is attempting to quiet them.... But this just isn't happening.
We have nothing to cover-up. No need to hide behind an obnoxious noise. We have the ability to share our stories in an extraordinarily powerful way because we accept the gravity of our decisions and work from a standpoint of solemnity.
I end this with, yet again, a request for a response from Planned Parenthood to acknowledge the pain of numerous women who have ended pregnancies in your clinics. Until then, long after #shoutyourabortion has fallen from our memories, I {and many others} will continue to affirm that abortions do cause pain and suffering regardless of what counselors tell the women who come into their clinics.
When our voices fade there will be a new generation of young women who have been damaged by voluntarily ending a pregnancy, to take up our standard.
And that's just fine.
We will be waiting for them whether they shouted, whispered, or never spoke at all.... because our work is based in redemption, and not condemnation.
We choose to empower you to find your own voice, and not the voice which you are shamed into using because someone convinced you that you were not capable of caring for your unborn child, and you feel complicit in their destruction.
We choose to share our stories with grace and dignity, in order to lift other women up, and not kick them when they are down.
We do not choose shouts and violence, but love and compassion in the face of great travails. In the end all we will have to show for ourselves is the consideration we freely give to one another.
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