Tonight is just about remembering.
The weight of her body in my hands as she slowly slipped into the great beyond.
The softness of her skin against mine.
The other night I was driving my car, and one of her songs came on. I cried, for the first time in a long time. A big, ugly cry.
I cried for her little life. I cried for my mother. I cried for myself, suspended like a bridge between these two women.
I sometimes have this feeling in the palms of my hands- they are electric. Those are the times that I miss her the most. When she is missing from me. That electricity is the weight of where she rested. A memory imprint on my flesh. My hands, permanenetly scarred in her absence.
I miss her, and I miss her. I'm full of missing and empty and wanting and electricity.
My lifespan isn't enough to keep hold of all of this energy. I hope to have them both, when I close my eyes.
Tonight is just about remembering.
- Sunday, April 12, 2015
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