Capture Your Grief Photo Challenge- Heart- October 2014

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Day 2- Heart

Today's subject is heart. As in- who do you carry in your heart?

My Beatrix is tucked deep within mine. Hidden away inside of the aches and fissures caused by her exit. 

This is my photo:

Very simple, and because I do not letter or draw well a very poor showing- except for what it is.

These hearts were all the rage when I was in 6th grade, or so. We girls would turn out dozens of them a week. 

We all had our perfect heart stencils. Some of them would be fat, flat hearts. Some tall and thin- but they were all perfect for the girl who was using them.

We would carefully cut out our hearts, and then color the edges with a variety of bright colors. Pressing hard and making certain that the crayon on the edge was thick. 

Then we would very carefully set our heart on the surface where we wanted our creation to end up- at the bottom of a love note, on a folder, or on an art project.  Holding the heart firmly we would use a pencil eraser to smear the colored wax into the surface of our choosing. Careful not to move the heart, so that the outline was clean and straight. 

If done correctly we ended up with this- a heart with a many-colored aura. We thought that this was the height of beauty. 

Even while I was doing this, my eleven year old son watched over my shoulder, exclaiming- "that's so cool!!" It must be the age.

When I first read the subject for today this was my immediate thought. I wanted only the most beautiful for my sweet Beatrix. And this was the best that I could offer- it was something that I would have shared with her when she had the coordination to utilize this technique herself. 

Sometimes we get caught up thinking of all of the big things that we miss- the wedding, grandchildren, school- but it's the little things that kill. The everyday items, like crayon hearts, that make the loss so much more profound- because it's the mundane that makes up the larger part of our lives. 

The subject was inspired by the E.E.Cummings poem, "I Carry Your Heart."

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

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